Location: House of Lamentation / Leviathan's Room

Leviathan: ...What's that now? You want to know why I looked around to see if anyone was watching before I closed the door?

Why do you THINK I did it?! Isn't it obvious?! Imagine what would happen if someone saw me inviting you into my room! A human who doesn't even look like an otaku, but a normie!

You know what people would say, right?!

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Are you worried that people might gossip?

Are you an otaku, Leviathan?

Hey! Are you trying to judge me? You think you're better than me, is that it? Don't you dare make fun of otakus! Listen up, because it's time for a truth bomb. The fact is that no matter how much of a normie you think you are, everyone out there is an otaku in some way! Every single person! ...Well, I mean, I guess I'm not technically a person, but that's beside the point!

Actually, I'm an otaku, too.

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The bookcase is full of thick, hardcover books as big as encyclopedias.

The Tale of the Seven Lords: The Lord of Shadow Awakens

What is it, human? What're you looking at?

Wait, that looks like...The Tale of the Seven Lords. Are you a fan of that, too?

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Yep, I love it.

Huh? Never heard of it.

...Excuse me? You don't know TSL? And you call yourself a human?! Just how clueless ARE you?! How could you not know?!

Just the fact that you don't know TSL alone is proof that you've been wasting your life! So, I'm going to do you a favor and teach you about TSL. Make sure you pay attention!

The Tale of the Seven Lords, otherwise known as TSL, is a series of fantasy novels written by Christopher Peugeot. It's a heroic epic spanning 138 volumes, and it's the most widely-read fantasy series in the world. There are even theatrical versions, an animated series, and feature films, too. And it's been translated into a total of 182 different languages.

The 1990s theatrical version was an utter disaster, owing to the fact that they added several characters that were NOT present in the original manuscript. At the time I was like, "This producer totally needs to crawl in a hole and die!" But then the 2015 version came out, and it was AMAZING! Better than amazing! If you ask me, it showed that needlessly cramming a female lead in there alongside Henry was a bad idea. That's not what he needs. What he NEEDS is a friend who really understands him, and the 2015 version proved that. Also, the most vital element of the story is that each of the seven lords is so unique. They're all so interesting in their own peculiar way. That's what makes TSL so great!

The lords are all brothers...the oldest one is called the Lord of Corruption. He doesn't come across as being so bad at first, but he's always plotting and planning in secret. The second oldest is the Lord of Fools, a scumbag who'll do anything for money. The third oldest is called the Lord of Shadow, a brooding recluse. The fourth oldest is known as the Lord of Masks. He masquerades as a high-status, upstanding member of society, but underneath it all, he's an inhumane monster. The fifth oldest, the Lord of Lechery, only ever thinks of sex. The sixth oldest is the Lord of Flies, and he only ever thinks of food. Then there's the seventh oldest, called the Lord of Emptiness. He's weird...you never know what's running through his head!

It seems most people like the oldest lord, the Lord of Corruption, the best. Everyone always talks about how great he is.

But not me. I like the third lord way more.

Of course, I like Henry too. He's the protagonist. He's almost as great as the third lord.

The second lord is total scum, a hopeless degenerate that leads a life of extravagance and indulgence. He's always causing trouble for the third lord. He's got these magical pigs that can give birth to solid gold piglets, and he treasures them above all else. So, Henry goes and talks to the pigs, and using his wit and powers of persuasion, he convinces them to leave with him. Then he leads every last one of them away, and presents them to the third lord as a gift! Wow...I mean, they're SUCH GOOD FRIENDS you can almost feel it! It's enough to make you cry!

Oh, and then there's that one really awesome moment when the two of them realize they both like and respect each other, and they high-five!

I just LOVE that part, you know? I wish I could have a moment like that.

...I wish I could be like the third lord. I may be a recluse like him, but we're totally different, because he's got an amazing friend like Henry.

Check it out. See that goldfish in the fish tank there?

He's actually named Henry. I love TSL so much that I couldn't help naming him after the main character.

But I can't really high-five a goldfish, can I?

The original author of TSL, Christopher Peugeot, he's actually a human, you know? That's why I'm so jealous of you guys.

Humans are so lucky. You've got subscription services that let you watch your favorite anime anytime, you can go to Akihabara whenever you want... Why do only you guys get to experience all the good stuff? I mean, humans' whole concept of pleasure originally came from us demons, you know? We gave it to you. So, why can't we have a little of that back now, huh? I mean, I want to be able to go to a Japanese maid café, too. I want to hear the maids welcome me as if I'm the master of the house, to have them draw ketchup hearts on my fried rice omelette, to experience the magic of it all. I want to cosplay as Henry, and then go stand in the center of Akihabara, or maybe under that one building in Tokyo that's shaped like upside-down triangles. And once I'm there, I want to perform Henry's super-powerful signature finishing move for all to see and say the incantation that goes with it. I want to shout it at the top of my lungs! ...Actually, you know what? I want to BE Henry!

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